After you've been together for a year or more, things can start to become routine (maybe even predictable) in your relationship. You know each other's favorite foods and restaurants. You know what night you'll be staying in to watch a certain show. And you both know which movies the other person won't watch with you... It's a beautiful thing to know someone so completely, but it's important to keep alive the spark and mystery from those first months together — no matter how long you've been dating (or even married).
Adam and I have only been together for about a year an half, but by now he's learned that I won't leave my place when Dancing with the Stars is on, and I know that he'll say yes to Chinese food for dinner 99% of the time. I love that we know these things about each other, but I also miss the butterflies and excitement that came with our first date or the time we played mini-golf.
It's inevitable that everything will become more familiar after spending so much time together, but that doesn't mean you can't recreate the sparks you felt in the beginning. Adam and I both agree that we never want to feel complacent in our relationship, so we're starting to take steps to avoid that from happening. Here are a few of our tips for keeping the spark alive in your relationships:
1. Ask him to pick you up for a date. Re-create that first date feeling by going traditional. Walking you to your door for a goodnight kiss at the end is a big plus! And if you live together, try meeting each other at the restaurant. It seems a little inconvenient, but it makes the date seem more special when you put in the extra effort.
2. Go on a date that you went on near the beginning. Just like married couples recreate their wedding day by renewing their vows, repeating a date that was special to you at the beginning of your dating will sort of "renew" your relationship. Maybe it's the first restaurant you went to or the time you went to that arcade. It'll make both of you think of your earlier dates and how it felt the first time around.
3. Show affection other than kissing. At the beginning of a new relationship, even brushing arms with your new partner can be exciting. Be intentional by rubbing his back when he tells you about his day or even tracing her fingers while you watch a movie. It'll remind them that you're just as attracted today as you were in the early days.
4. Surprise each other with a gift. After a certain point, you're probably taking turns buying each other's dinners, paying for movie tickets and everything else. It all becomes normal and expected, but surprising each other with something you wouldn't normally buy for yourself is a great way to treat your partner.
5. Don't forget the little things. Buying your partner's favorite ice cream or getting up a little earlier to make coffee for them goes a long way toward making your partner feel special. Those things are small, but they add up to make a big difference over the course of a relationship.
6. Remind each other why you're still together. Of course you love her, but why? Is it still the same reason that made you fall in love, or is there something you've learned that makes you love her more? At this point in the relationship, you can probably add multiple items to the list of why you love each other. It never hurts to remind the other person of those reasons.
P.S. 8 movies to watch with your partner, fighting successfully and the Date Night Des Moines series
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